Loving The Skin You're In!

10min Read: I'll be discussing matters around, you guessed it, our skin. I'll share my opinions and hopefully inspire you to challenge yours!

Love the skin you are in, what does that even mean? Upon searching this, you can probably imagine, the most common themes relate to beauty standards. Whilst I agree with these points, obviously many more deep-rooted elements influence how we feel about our skin. These include culture, skin colour, gender and age; however, these are not the main themes that I wish to focus on today, although they will weave in and out of the discussion.

Today I want to discuss your skin, the skin that has been your protective casing for the vital parts of your functionality throughout your life. The skin that has saved you; let you down and caused you pain. Ask yourself, do you really love the skin that you are in?

The flaky girl!

“I looked at my hands with the warts and eczema dancing all over them. For that moment, I felt that my skin was disgusting.”

I woke up in the night the creases of my arms and legs burning with the feeling of a millions pins being pushed into me. An overwhelming wave of itching and no matter how many times I replayed my mother’s voice saying “don’t scratch baby, it will only make it worse”. The compelling urge was too much to bare, and the voice of guidance was pushed away like a desperate mosquito trying to buzz in my ear. It was too late; my tiny fingernails were already clawing away at the flaky wet mess that covered my arms. I was out of control, the scratching felt so good that my brain had completely immersed itself in the euphoric feeling; there was no going back now! In the morning, after pulling back my covers, once again numbed to the image of bloody sheets and stung by the pain of needle pricks in my arms and legs of burning flames, the realisation hit, I had done it again.

As a child, I had a few skin challenges such as chronic eczema all over my body and warts covering my hands. Honestly, this didn’t impact me that much in relation to self-confidence as far as I can remember, but it did affect my comforts in life. I went to dance school so things like wearing hot sticky leotards that clung to my skin would bother me. Playing in the playground at school, doing as kids do by running around with a red sweaty face was the perfect breeding ground for eczema to spread out and really enjoy its new habitat. My skin felt uncomfortable, it felt as though I was the owner of this home that was great on the inside, but there was damp and mold on the outside starting to creep in and makes itself at home.

The only memory I have of how my skin affected my confidence, was in a country dance lesson at primary school (don’t ask what country dancing is, to this day I am still confused about what it even entails). There was a boy that I was partnered with who was actually my friend, but, when it came to holding my hand, he was very reluctant. It resulted in him poking his hands out like a stiff wooden boards for me to put my little palms into; I looked at my hands with the warts and eczema dancing all over them. For that moment, I felt that my skin was disgusting.

The burning truth!

“Sure, I had heard the word skin cancer thrown around here and there, but it still wasn’t really a part of my education to consider protecting my skin. I guess it was more important to learn about things like how to make octopus dioramas.”

Being a teenager in the early two thousands meant fake tanning. For some reason this was all the rage and we thought it was attractive to have skin that looked as though someone had patted teabags all over it. This looked worse on drunken nights out, as typically in England it would often be raining. Rain equaled dripping brown blotchy stains, on our skin and clothes, a very sexy image, you’re welcome!

Apparently, teabags were actually one of the first products used for tanning during WWII according to Robert Applebaum (2019), a skin and beauty expert. I never questioned why I should wear fake tan, I just saw it in the media and my friends wore it, which meant so did I. By the time I was growing up bronzed skin was no longer frowned upon, as it was previously due systemic racism that was ingrained in white privilege culture. Applebaum and other skin care authors suggest that this was due to a new trend, fashioned by Coco Chanel in the 1920s who was revered for her sun kissed glow after a trip to Cannes. Suddenly, bronzed skin was for the white privileged and deemed as chic, sexy and a sign of wealth. Ironically, I now live in Thailand, a country that sells whitening products because many deem it more attractive to have fairer skin and the symbolism of wealth is still very much associated with white privilege.

These historical implications didn’t even enter my brain. I just thought I looked better with brown stained skin; this then led to spending more time laying in the sun on summer holidays and even a few visits to the sunbed, both ultimately resulted in severely burnt skin. Sure, I had heard the word skin cancer thrown around here and there, but it still wasn’t really a part of my education to consider protecting my skin. I guess it was more important to learn about things like how to make octopus dioramas. I mean skin cancer, who needs to learn about that?

So did I love the skin I was in? Absolutely not, if I did I certainly wasn’t showing it. I was treating my skin like shit, burning it, covering it in all sorts of crap to change its colour and never ever considering that it might need some nourishment like moisture or sunscreen. My skin probably felt like it was being punished, yet had no idea why.

Scars are beautiful!

“Scars are like battle wounds declaring our strength, and representing just how amazingly tough our skin truly is.”

I have gradually learned to care for my skin more; one of the main lessons came from developing acne. I’ve had three major outbreaks in my life to the point of not wanting to leave the house, I won’t go into detail in fear of putting you off your breakfast, lunch or dinner. Needless to say, I eventually sought advice from a dermatologist after waiting for months for a referral from my GP. When I walked into the office, this large giant man towering over me, took one look at my skin, which currently had no outbreak and purely from the pigmentation alone, he said in his deep voice “you have acne”. Acne, at twenty-seven I couldn’t believe it. From then on, I learned more about what my skin needed along with the effects of junk food and sun damage. I no longer cared about having bronzed skin; I wanted my skin to be healthy.

The outbreaks I experienced left me a few scars but nothing too noticeable. I have more chicken pox scars than anything. Once again, as a child I had it quite severe, to the point of high temperatures which resulted in my mum rushing home from a waitressing shift to stand outside with me in her arms showing me the stars. The wintery night air kissing my cheeks and skin cooling me down whilst my eyes sparkled from the twinkles of the lights around me. I love my chicken pox scars, I have one right on my forehand. It is my favorite scar, one because Shakira has one in the exact same place and let’s face it who wouldn’t want to have something on their face in common with Shakira. Two, because of that beautiful memory I have with my mum, every time I look at that scar it takes me back to then.

Some scars however, do not transport us back to positive memories; some take us back to trauma or pain. I do believe however, that all scars are beautiful and you can disagree with this thought of course, as it is your right to, but hear me out first. Scars are like battle wounds declaring our strength, and representing how amazingly tough our skin truly is. I had friend years back with a huge burn scar across her thigh from an accident involving hot custard when she was a toddler. She hated it, but I thought it was beautiful. It had literally formed patterns in different directions and in my mind; it symbolised her bravery even as a tiny child.

Childbirth amazes me, what an incredible mark to show to the world. A symbol of life created, and the skin holds that life inside keeping it safe, these exquisite marks represent what our bodies can do. Stretch marks should be celebrated after pregnancy or even after weight gain or loss. I have marks shooting down my thighs from the amount of times I have gained and lost weight. They are silvery white and look like little lightning strikes. I used to hate them but now I use them as a reminder, that I can transform my body into whatever I want to, and that my skin will stretch and bend to support me in doing so. Our skin after all is our largest organ, and when you really think about that, isn't it bloody AMAZING!

Skincare is for everyone!

I have had the privilege to learn the importance of skin care from other cultures due to living in a few different countries over the years.

Whilst living in Istanbul, I adored visiting the Turkish baths ‘Hammam’ and experiencing the washing ritual. When you arrive, you are greeted with Turkish tea and given your traditional style towel to wrap around you. You lounge in the single sex bath area; laying on a hot marble slab looking up at the stunning historical stone ceiling, with its beautifully crafted holes where the sun or moonlight shines through. The women enter with towels around their wastes usually topless. They start by splashing you with soapy water, swishing and rubbing it all over your body. Then using what can only be described as magic, huge soapy clouds are created on their washcloths that dispersed onto your skin, here is where the scrubbing starts. You literally see grey dead skin coiling off your flesh, and although that sounds gross, I actually found it weirdly satisfying. Almost like the weight of any stress or bad experiences that were clinging onto me were being scrubbed away. I would leave feeling smoother and lighter both inside and out.

This is still very prevalent among males in Turkey as well as the famous Turkish barbers. My boyfriend would often visit the barbers and he described it as a unique experience. They not only shaved and trimmed his beard, they gave head massages along with a facemask and even tried to pluck his eyebrows. Now my boyfriend would consider himself a manly man (whatever that means) and is not one for pampering, however even he would admit how nice it was to receive the treatment and that his skin would feel better for it.

Living in Thailand comes with its fair share of incredible skin treatments too. Thai culture takes a lot of pride in caring for the body for health. Oil massages along with the more traditional Thai massage are considered medicinal. I love the experience of receiving a full body oil massage especially living here, as you can feel the passion and care that goes into the treatment. A good masseuse will usually choose an oil that compliments your ailments due to the healing properties.

In both these cultures, skincare and well-being is for everyone, regardless of gender. Having grown up in a Western culture and living in a predominantly male household these kind of treatments for men were often seen as less masculine and a weakness on the man’s part. Which is why I previously referred to my boyfriend as ‘manly’. When we first met, he viewed any kind of pampering or skincare routine for him as a reduction of his manhood. Having come from a more masculine society in Northern Ireland it is deemed less manly to focus on nurturing activities such as self-care due to the dated perception, which is gradually starting to develop in Western society.

Skincare is for everyone, why shouldn’t you care for or protect your skin just because you are a man? You have internal organs that need protecting just like everyone else, your brain being one of them. To receive these treatments not only improves the quality of skin; it also improves the quality of brain function and overall health through relaxation and reducing stress hormones. We all know stress is the devil and can wreak havoc both internally and externally for our bodies. My friends eczema and acne both often swing by to say hi when they sense that stress is in town!

Do you love the skin you’re in?

With all that said, do you love the skin you’re in? And if not will you?

I show my love by moisturising both in the morning and at night so that my skin feels nourished and loved when it starts and ends its day. I now use a face roller by Kitsch, who knew how good that would feel! A top tip that I learned from one of my favourite health and food influencers Erin Rutherford on YouTube and Instagram, is to put your roller in the fridge. That way when you use it in the morning you really promote that cold refreshing boost your skin needs. According to Colleen de Bellefonds (2021) a health and wellness journalist, face rollers could support in helping our lymph nodes to release toxins from the face, resulting in less puffy skin in the morning, which is definitely a bonus!

I try to use facemasks at least once a week along with exfoliating to remove that unwanted baggage of dead skin. Although no matter how hard I try, my skin will never be as silky smooth as it was when visiting those Hammams, oh how I miss them!

I also consume a lot more water, who knew that water was good for your skin and well, EVERYTHING! Not me, I hardly drank water up until a few years ago. Now it is a major part of my daily routine!

Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that these routines take time that we don’t always have. But, just a little bit of care a day can go a long way. So maybe give it some consideration, and it doesn’t have to be costly. You don’t have to spend all your money on fancy face creams that promise you you’ll look twenty years younger. Just grab a bottle of Nivea from the ‘Pound Shop’ or whatever your equivalent store is.

Just consider your skin, cherish it and love it. You only get one chance in life to take care of yourself, remember, your skin is protecting you every day. Just give a little gratitude in return, whatever that may look like for you and your skin!

If you enjoyed this blog and want to read more about health or well-being matters, go and check out my other blog if you missed it What is healthy?

References:

HuffPost, Robert Applebaum, M.D., Contributor

Skincare and beauty expert, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/history-of-fake-tanning-s_b_3818206 (Updated January 18, 2019)

Healthline, Colleen de Bellefonds, health and wellness journalist, https://www.healthline.com/health/beauty-skin-care/how-to-use-jade-roller#takeaway

(Last medically reviewed on April 29, 2021)

Photo Credit:

Photo by Shane on Unsplash